Certified Biblical Counselor

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Jennifer Chavers MA, Counseling

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Friendship Proverbs 18:24

Posted on 21 February, 2020 at 11:20 Comments comments (5)

      Friendship .....what do you think of when u think of friendship ? I think of safety , comfort , fun and trust .The Bible says ,A man of many companion may come to ruin but there is a friend that sticks closer than brother. Proverbs 18:24 

Todsg , we have Facebook . I have over 900 friends . Does that mean I have 900 friends ? No.Friendship , takes time , it takes trust and Love and vulnerability.

Because of Facebook , it appears I have so many friends . Yes, I know some of them personally . Some our acquaintances .

How do you know if a friend is safe are not ? Do they gossip behind your back ? How many truly close friends do you have ? Do they have your values ?


Friendship defined is the emotions or conduct of friends ,the state of being friends .A state of mutual trust and support .


Hoe do you know when a friendship is over ? If your friend started  to hang out with someone new and has been taking time away from your friendship.Other reasons , sometimes you and your friend don't click like you once did .

Whether you've grown apart or the relationship has become toxic, at some point  you may need to breakup with your friend,

  1)The friendship is one sided2)They betray your trust 3) They don't keep your secrets 4)They are overly negative or pessimistic 5) You have little or nothing to talk about .6) They create and attract drama.7) Thry are passive aggressive when you say no to them .They dismiss it when you raise a concern .They make you feel worse not better ..

So , we all like to have friends , but it takes effort to ge5 and keep a healthy friendship .


Stress and the Holidays

Posted on 10 December, 2019 at 13:10 Comments comments (2)

         Stress and the holidays . Many find the holidays , not joyful but stressful !

if you have lost a love one or any loss for that matter . It could be a big or small loss , u might feel stress or the blues .

Some suffer with seasonal depression as well . All the parties , presents and people can be overwhelming. I have autoimmune disease , so I definitely feel this way .

Take time , to take care of yourself . If you feel stress. Do what you like to do to relax , Ex a massage . Or read a book , take a bath .

  Let us remember that all people are not joyful this season . Be extra kind . Serve at a food pantry , take gifts for the needy . Vist a nursing home.

   It will actually make you feel better , to serve others in this way .

  This cold season , has a tendency to make people hibernate .Myself included . 

Again , find ways to set boundaries and take care of yourself , slow down amd look at the blessings and gifts around you . Christmas will come again next year . Take time to savor this one .chew every bite slowly and enjoy this one .


Have yourself a merry little Christmas ! 






 



Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Posted on 8 November, 2019 at 0:30 Comments comments (1)

      Comparison is the thief of joy . Never have I thought this statement was more true with social media today. Now, you can scroll through hundreds of women's profiles pics and look at people's bio .


If you are a curious person and a networker like me , you want to read everyome 's bio , and see what is says and what they are doing .Do they do the same  thing as I do ? Where do they live ? Women already do this a lot .We might look at someone's hair or what they do .


We are all trying to put our best face foward. We can now connect with women around the globe . I think that is a great blessing , if we don't think we have to copy what others are doing . We live in a very competitive world .


Why does a employee hire someone over someone else ? Do they look better ? Psychologists have looked at faces etc. , finding yes, we do prefer different shapes of faces over another .

As a Christian we know that Satan comes to steal , kill , destroy . He is referred to as the thief . Comparison is the thief of Joy.


Don't you think he would want women comparing each other . If he tempted Eve with ...Did God not say ?.... He loves thaf we compare God's creation. Are you a better looking creation that me ? That is wrong . We are all individual , just like every flower has a different color and smell.Constanly comparing ourselves , makes us prisoners of our appetites. 

Let's encourage each other and not compare or compete , for that matter . I have never been that competitive. Although , with social media it becomes a temptation . 1Cor 10;13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man .




Vision For Life

Posted on 29 October, 2019 at 15:10 Comments comments (0)

   



 If You have known me for any length of time , you know I am nearsighted . I have to wear thick glasses when my eyes are dry and itchy and I can't wear my contacts .


I am glad I live in a time period I can get my glasses and contact prescription , so strong . If I lived 70 years ago , I would have been blind .I am grateful with glasses and contacts, I can see .


We can also have spiritual blindness , sometimes we are have blind spots .Things that other see and you don't 


The Bible says without a vision the people perish .

What are your blind spots ? The area we don't see or don't choose to see! Are blind spots more like denial ?


Basically , denial is not acknowledging the reality of a situation.


 Could it be you are in a bad situation at work or in a marriage ? You keep telling yourself it is not that bad. Is how you see things reflected in your attitude ? If a person is happy or joyful would they interpret their reality differently that someone that is depressed?


  There is a old hymn , Be though my vision . Our God has a perspective ,we don't see , he sees from beginning to end .Sometimes , we don't see the forest for the trees.


This week, think about your vision , affects everything you do. Let's be grateful ,and ask God to give us his vision ,and see things his way .Romans 8:28 


Patience is a Virtue

Posted on 11 October, 2019 at 0:00 Comments comments (2)

               Patience is the ability to wait on something without screaming , waiting without complaining. In this day and age ,we do not want to wait. We want our order now.We want to be texted back now .We want to be answered right now !


I am waiting on my cell phone battery to charge . It is not working right . It forces me to focus on something else, like write this blog . So I wait .i feel conviction from the Holy Spirit . Cor 13 it says Love is patient . Maybe that is why the divorce rate is so high?


How patient are we to pray and pray and pray and not give up ?When we suffer or perceive suffering , we want it to hurry up and be over .I read the book of Job . I am amazed how his friends treated him . Not with patience .Or could you be waiting for God to answer your prayers. ?You ask , why won't he heal me ? Why did my love one die?The scripture says we are to be patient in affliction .


It makes me curious what is God trying to show me or teach me ? No wonder they say patience is a virtue . It could be patience in traffic , the child that has asked you that same question ten times .Or waiting for your battery to charge on your cell phone .The aging parents with dementia .Or we are waiting on God to answer our prayer?l

Whatever it is , we wait patiently ...in line , in traffic , with the child ,with ourself when we are chronically ill. The next time you don't have patience , ask what God might be trying to reveal to you .

Let us remember Cor 13 .Love is patient .Love is kind ...Cor13 ❤️

Essential Oils and Emotions

Posted on 7 October, 2019 at 13:10 Comments comments (0)

                                                                  Essential Oils and Emotions 

I have been researching the topic essential oils and emotions for the last year and a half . I have become very interested in this topic .


Because anti depressants and anxiety medication is on the rise . I wanted to look into how essential oils could be effective with helping the stressed brain of most women today .Lavender , my favorite, when inhaled through the nose goes to the limbic system and calms the nervous system down .


Are you stressed from work , screaming kids , loads of laundry ?Essential oils , can help us calm our anxious brains .


        Some oils to try for stress reduction are Bergamot, geranium , grapefruit , Jasmine , Sandlewood , Rose, ylang , Ylang . Have you just recently had a loss , are you grieving ? Try neroli, Rose, Sandlewood , Vetiver .


Experiment with the oils and see which ones are best for you .I personally use peppermint for fatigue . I have thyroid and fibromyalgia.I have just scratched the surface of this topic .I dare you to be curious !

   I hope this wets you're appetitive for using essential oils in your everyday life . Please contact me with questions , let me know how I can help you [email protected]

Blessings and Peace,

Jennifer Chavers  Romams 8:28



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